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Embracing Uncertainty

By Debra Berndt

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It is springtime in the Rockies. One day we are enjoying the warmth of Spring, and then a snowstorm hits the following afternoon. In Colorado, we never really know when it is time to put those parkas away. We get used to the dips and peaks of the thermometer, and the weather does not typically affect our daily routine. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at the ups and downs in our life the same way Coloradoans look at the weather? What if we could be comfortable with uncertainty?

For the most part, humans do not like surprises. Sure, they can be wonderful when they come in the form of a birthday party, a last-minute getaway, a proposal, or a visit from an old friend. The surprises that most of us dread are those unexpected bills, a last-minute mandate from the boss on a Friday afternoon, or the car breaking down. Worse yet, they can come in the form of someone leaving or even dying. Usually when unpleasant things happen, we are forced to face the impermanence of life. No matter what we do to prevent the “bad” stuff from happening, it cannot be avoided.

To keep from noticing the changes occurring all around them, people hold on to their possessions, their relationships or their title at work as some semblance of solid ground. Looking for something permanent to grasp onto as time flows by can leave many people feeling lost and alone and scared. Survival instincts kick in and they search for a sense of security somewhere out in the world. Most do not want to face the inevitability of change.

No matter how much we resist, life never stops moving. We are aging from the moment we are born. Moments quickly move past us and become memories before we stop to enjoy them. Although we try to ignore this, deep inside we know the truth – everything is temporary. Seasons change, jobs end, relationships breakup, and people get sick and die. The realities of life are hard to look at, but we would have more inner peace if we could allow ourselves to accept the ebb and flow instead of deny it.

Imagine looking at anything that comes your way as welcomed. Yes, even the dreadful things you do not want to face can be allowed to be experienced with ease. It is your resistance to change that causes the pain in your life, not the actual event. Sadness, sickness, joy and pleasures are all just a string of moments tied together to create your life. When you start labeling each moment as good or bad, you grasp at the pleasure and resist the pain. You can then get stuck in a cycle of what you resist persists. The pain lingers more and the pleasure seems to slip by us all too quickly – you get the reverse effect.

Allow me to share a personal story. A few years ago, I broke an engagement, had to sell the condo we lived in, and got laid off from my job all in the same month. Most of the “important things” that make people feel safe were stripped away from me. The only thing I had left was the moment and my spirit. I began to rebuild my life again from the bottom up. Over the next year, I left the corporate world forever with little savings and no one to support me financially. I moved to New Mexico where I received my hypnotherapy certification. I started my own business back in Denver and moved into a basement apartment to cut back on expenses. It was a scary time for me. I also did a lot of personal work to heal past wounds so that I could attract a loving relationship. I did not know how things would work out, but felt I had nothing more to lose. An amazing sense of strength in adversity was present in me that I never knew I had.

Six years later, I now have a completely different life. I am blessed with a wonderful, loving relationship, a successful practice doing what I love and a great lifestyle. I realized that I may have not been able to make the changes I did without something dramatic because I was too comfortable in my previous mediocre life. After losing what I thought was “everything” back then, I now no longer fear any loss. I accept the challenges life brings as an opportunity to stretch myself even further. I find it interesting that my trials always seem to surface when I start to get “comfortable” again.

The next time an unexpected event occurs in your life, welcome it with open arms. This may take practice, so you may want to start with something small like an unexpected bill. Imagine just being peaceful in the moment with the unplanned expense and surrendering to the situation. You will find that the money to pay the bill will show up and your anxious thoughts of being in the poor house was simply an exaggeration. Cherish every moment regardless of your external circumstances, and trust in the ever-flowing abundance that is always around you.

Allow changes to come and go as your become open to life’s ups and downs. You cannot change the flow, but you can experience it anyway you decide. Invite uncertainty, embrace change and never have another dull moment for the rest of your life.

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